My gift for my injuries has been to be home with my daughter. I have been truly aware of what the time I took away at my job did to both me and her. To stay at home was never a option, we could just never afford it, but when you physically cannot work, and you are being told over and over again, that your work is physically destroying the only hand you have, its time to reconsider your options.And my husband, renewed in the faith of his youth, has felt impressed that if I do not work, I will be able to keep the use of my hand for longer than the doctors believe. So I am at home. I have a leave of absence from my job, and I am going to try and disability retire. There are no lies about my love for my coworkers or my job, but I need a life that gives me my physical health back...and that is one of a stay at home mom. It comes with great financial challenges. And we have to tighten our belts....but with my faith in my God firmly in grasp, I believe He is watching over our little family, and we will be just fine!
To be sure, I did not feel this way until about October, much of why I did not post on my blog to general public. I was a faithless, stubborn, petulant woman. And no one likes to have much of their ugly side viewed really.
Phhysically, the run down is this... my left hand is ok when I don't do typing of fine motor skills for 6 hrs straight. Still have bad grasp- about 8 pounds maximum, still breaking glasses.(Note to self ask for cute plastic for my birthday hehe). My right leg still gives out. The MRI did not show injury. I ventured in to some exercise, and the results were ...I started losing control of my leg. I have recorded when this happens and its when I am in a hurry, or going to fast. So I am thinking perhaps my brains synapses aren't firing to the right side as quickly as they used to? Could I have had a mini stroke and not known? The right side is only giving out sometimes... But I just truly injured myself pretty badly last Thursday when I fell down my new level stair to my kitchen and took the fall with my right knee and forehead to the fridge...and yes, there were more dishes to clean up...seriously! I have an appointment with my neurologist, in early December. It will be good to hear what she thinks!!
PATIENCE AND FAITH seem to be the echoing themes of 2011 for me. Though I have never been particularly good with the first, the second truly was always a gift til this year.....when I have been tested time and again.
And with all the stress and change of losing money, a career, a house,and my running- a new life has begun for my husband and me.
He, as I said before , has renewed his faith in the religion of his youth, the Church that I was baptized into 23 (eek almost 24 yrs ago). We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormons, as many commonly know us. Before he began to study the scriptures, my husband was very difficult to reach spiritually. He believed there might be a God. That was about it. He would make fun openly of the Church and spiritual things. But he respected me enough to let me have my faith. He would say religion is for women and old men.....He does not remember saying this. I will tell you that I NEVER thought I would see him active in the Church in my lifetime. I guess you could say I had given up hope. I am writing this, because, if there is someone out there who knows someone less active, PLEASE never give up hope. Pray for them, love them anyways, and continue to live your faith. MY HUSBAND IS A MIRACLE. He is a changed man. He cannot tell you what it was that made him want to read the book of Mormon, but he can tell you that by the end of the first Book , the Spirit had taken hold of his heart and he has never been able to feel such peace, love and care from our Heavenly Father as He does when he reads that Book. His testimony that this Church is true grows day in and day out. He is inspired and feels a great desire to do good...he has made changes so sweeping that it takes my breath away. And honestly, I am humbled , truly humbled by his desire to thoroughly search the Scriptures. He read Revelations in a DAY! We were on course as a couple to go to the Temple and be sealed together and as a family. It meant, though we were married for this life, in the Temple we sealed by proper priesthood authority, to each other for eternity, and also our daughter can be sealed to us for eternity.Its called "celestial marriage" because we hope, if we live a good life, we can be together in heaven again... I love that term...seal-it means to me a bond that cannot be broken. And its my joy to say we were sealed on October 22, 2011 of this year. We have a new life now, and not without challenges, but its a good life. We have much to be grateful for. And now I feel I have caught ya'll up! ;)
