So I have missed blogging my life. I thought I would be a better blogger, and then get back to my journalling that was a huge part of my life for decades. But life got in the way. Here are my excuses and WHY IM BLOGGING AGAIN:
First, we decided to move-again. This time we want to be on the fast track to pay off our debt, save huge amounts of money and get back to being the homeowners we once were. However, renting is well, a touchy thing...its quite expensive to rent. We weren't seeing a way that we could accomplish saving for a home. We have been blessed to be invited into my hubby's sister's home so that we can do that. Truly, this woman is a saint, and I love her to death- even without us moving in to her home! I am so glad that she is as generous and kind as she is!
That does mean, though, that I gotta pack up EVERYTHING IN THE NEXT MONTH.
Second, my brace has kept me from falling. But my hip is not strong, and exercising and wearing the brace all day is harder than I thought. I am tired and have gotten blisters where the foot and leg are touching the brace. It has been discouraging. My body is not cooperating with me. I feel frustrated. My elbow still hurts, and BenGay is my friend.
I have not been exercising. Confession. But I am back on track...kind of.
Third, I had to find my little girl a preschool in the new area we were moving, this meant driving down and looking. I was Praying and worrying that I was making the right choice. I never felt good about them...until I went with my gut about a recommendation of a high school friend's. I finally decided on that one. It started August 1st, we have been commuting a half hour most of August, 3 times a week....I say most because little E got sick and we were all down for the count for almost a week. We still have residuals of the colds. Or maybe its a new one. Who knows. The Kleenex company should give us coupons for how many boxes we have gone through! Blast them!
Fourth, and most importantly.... I have been given a unique opportunity to really ponder what and how and why I believe spiritually the way I do. To protect the innocent and even not so innocent, I will not use names or share situations, however,this is why I haven't blogged and why I need to now. Its also important to me to share here some of why I believe what I do. It helps me.
So many who know me and read this know that my childhood was less than beautiful. I was raised by a drug using and selling, wife abusing, pedophiliac for a father, and a mother who did her best given her circumstances. We moved 30 times before I was 12( I don't like to move-and I like to make roots now because of this). We did not have religion in our home. But I always knew there was a God. ALWAYS. Not because I was ever taught...I just knew.
The people who knew me before I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormons, say I haven't changed much. They say I am still kind and spiritual and yes, bossy, and they love me. They are the ones who rescued me from the hell that I knew as my home. They are the ones who gave me normalcy. You KNOW WHO YOU ARE. To me, and for me, always, the same is true for The LDS faith. It rescued me. It brought me EVERYTHING: peace, understanding of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and it brought me FORGIVENESS. Because of the LDS faith, I was able to heal from a past that had broken my spirit..on so many levels. I am the woman I am today BECAUSE OF MY FAITH. It is true to me. It is my path. It is my religion and I do love it. Perhaps because I came from the darkest place a person can come, I understand the need and the search for peace. I understand the need to find your place in this world, your sense of peace and understanding of what God wants for you. And I understand that my faith....is NOT FOR EVERYONE.
I believe there are MANY good and righteous paths for people to take in this world. I hope your path makes you as happy as mine makes me. I believe that God truly loves ALL OF HIS CHILDREN. He wants to see us again. I think He wants and expects us to love each other, to allow for differences of opinion, remain respectful and reserve judgement for the Almighty, for only He know our hearts. I am far from perfect. I do not claim to know all things. I hope that if your understanding of my religion, my faith- is unfavorable, you respect me for my choice. Name calling and judgement are for the football field-not for someone's faith. I would leave a witness of what I think God wants from everyone- Or at least wants from me!It manifested itself about 2 weeks ago by reading many scriptures and praying and fasting...it is simple...just LOVE EACH OTHER...I have truly been trying this method out...even halting my mind when I think unkind things about others, or myself. It has transformed me. I have a ways to go, but life is easier when you stop and just Love yourself and others...the Beatles had it right: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.
