A CAST?

Today I went to my orthotics and prosthetics appointment to be fitted for my cool hinged brace- or "Assisted Device" or AD....I was not looking forward to it . But I have been limited since June by falling, and ya, I don't want to fall anymore. My nuerologist has recommended this great PT who told me, hey I think you need to correct your walk, lets get you an AD..and so here we are !
Except...well, I don't get my brace yet! I first have to go through a series of "soft casts" to correct my deforming right foot and ankle muscles. I can no longer bend my right ankle the way everyone else does, and my foot is shifting outwards, putting great stress on my right knee and right hip. Additionally(though no one really cares about this- its tiring out my left leg and I am always feeling like I get a workout in!)
A soft cast will slowly stretch the muscles to hopefully where they belong. I am supposed to walk on it- and I can actually take it off- the day before my new one comes on. They will come in 2 colors- purple and blue- and for those who follow facebook page- the vote is in- its purple. But UG- IT CANT GET WET. Showers are gonna be-interesting. I don't like washing my hair in the sink. Afraid thats gonna have to be the way now.
A lot has been going through my mind since Friday and I have been keeping it to myself, because we are struggling with a family member who has just been told he needs surgery for cancer- and well- that trumps soft cast every day.(update: surgery a success- simple basal cell skin cancer! Corrected and done)
Truth be told, I haven't been able  to finish this post..it is now the night before and I have procrastinated doing all the things I said I would: write about whats going on in my head, buy the big shoe for the cast and of course- paint my toes! They are gonna have to be pretty for all of my pictures!
First and foremost, and heavy on my mind is my "adjustment period" How will I be able to do: walking, showering, cleaning, climbing stairs, sigh, I know its just a soft cast, but a disabled person is always assessing the "how" in the way things are supposed to be done...and then adapt accordingly. I also have been dealing with the worry, that it won't really correct, and they may suggest another alternative...surgery. So my prayers are to correction....and to that end, I am so glad and grateful to be at that point in this journey, that had me sort of  running a 5 k last May(deformed mind you!), to almost complete foot drag/limp when I mop a stupid floor. My PT says that has to go under my husband's "honey do list" for a while. We had a good laugh about that. He told me to tell Hubby its in the "fine print". Funny guy.  And yes, kids, I mopped today. Control freak that I am. I hate that so much is being TAKEN  from me. And no, don't love that chore. But man, I love having control over the little things!
On a total girl note-and trust me, I know how shallow this sounds- I HATE ORTHOPEDIC SHOES.  Come on people....just because a person has to wear these shoes does NOT  mean they can't be CUTE  for heaven's sake!!!! Black, white and tan leather-  DYE DOES NOT CHANGE FUNCTIONALITY ! Spice it up a bit and add a funky shoe lace- for the love of ! And I am specifically talking about shoes that a brace fits in guys....I know there are brands out there that cater to foot issues:I was wearing a pair the orthapedist said would no longer work once I got my brace! ....but I have to have laceup shoes that my brace will fit it for the rest of my life. And don't get me started on the gross sandals.  
I am tired a lot lately. Tired and frustrated, and emotional. It sucks to have stuff that you have to work on, and  it sucks worse when its not just PHYSICAL STUFF. When it rains, it pours, and I am being rained on so I had best listen to the One Above-and do what I am told.
To finish off, I have taken to heart what my Bishop suggested over the pulpit and start a scripture journal while I read the scriptures. Been grateful for that advise as I spent THREE DAYS  researching discerning truth from starting in the Book of Mormon Alma Chapter 30. Wow...what a joy.... next up-Chapter 31: theme:Power of Prayer...does anyone see the significance that this is what I am gleaning? Additionally- Chapter 32 is tomorrow- yes folks- the theme: its on FAITH....HM. Think my Heavenly Father is trying to tell me something. You see, through it all, I know that Heavenly Father loves me. He has taken care of my needs and brought me to this place. I have shed my tears- and by golly will prolly always hate ugly shoes, but at the end, I am so blessed to have this gift of life. Here's my  pottery parable for you...because when I hear the word cast- I think pottery...thanks to my Sister in law Margaret- for inspiring me!
 If we wish to be cast in an image  like our older brother- Jesus Christ-He  who had felt every  fire of trial and pain , and then become like him, who are we to say- no, we cannot take the fire? If then, we do not go to the fire and  accept our trials, we simply stay as clay- unfinished , untried, and sometimes unbroken-still we have been formed by Master Potter.  But we can become beautiful in that fire- with glorious mixtures of color that would have only been seen by being fired with different agents of trial. We become like others who have gone through that same experience- and we are like them. We can empathize, and understand in a way others would not.  And sometimes, dears, like my sister in laws statue, we are tried too a long time in that kiln of life-perhaps by sin and we become cracked, not what we expected, sometimes with a different look or color than expected. Still, if we can come out of it, and love ourselves for what we have become, instead of wishing for that prettier color- or "perfect uncracked cast" we truly see ourselves like our Heavenly Father does, and He gave us his Son who came down to atone for not only our sins but our pain. If we accept that only through Him we can become beautiful: In that moment- he can heal the crack, and make it stronger than it was before. We become perfect in our simple deformed state , and the Master Potter loves all His pieces, and the broken ones He loves because those he held in His hands and He fixed them. Feel free to comment . I hope you have a glorious Friday- looking forward to posting  on my Purple cast!