As any mother will tell you, the first time you hear or see your child's heartbeat, there is a moment of wonderous magic...and from that time forth, your heart literally belongs to them. We mothers wear our hearts on our sleeves most of time- ready and willing to give them up at even the slightest inclination of hurt or suffering. Its part of our gift as mothers really. To empathize and feel for others at their time of need. It is also a curse. Especially when your little child is going through their own suffering. Oh, that I could replace the pain. Oh, that I could take away the hurt.
This week, and especially Tuesday, my heart has been beating for my child. She had to undergo dental surgery.
At 8 months, she got her first tooth. The same week she broke her first tooth out of her gums, she tried to chew the marble coffee table and chipped her tooth. It progressively got worse, a cavity got into it, and it needed to be fixed. I looked forward to the sweet little white cap that the pediatric dentist told us about. I was excited for her to have no pain. But she was going under anesthesia and well, I was worried. I had to occupy her time all morning with out food and drink. We got there at 10:15, and we waited. And waited and waited.I was getting antsy.  At 12pm they finally started prepping her with a little happy drink- it does three things, causes her no worries that mommy and daddy arent there, is an amnesiac, and anti nausea medication for after the anethesia, many get sick to their stomachs.
The dentist told us he was probably going to remove the tooth. And he had to remove the other one as well, so that when the adult teeth came in, she would have a even smile-this was procedure and common.  It was causing her great amounts of pain. She would be so happy once it was gone. But I started to cry. Thank goodness my baby was well into the effects of her happy drink. Gone? BOTH OF THEM??  She is only 3!!!!
The dentist reassured us, and reminded us that it was our attitude that would affect the way she saw her lack of teeth, and of course, we knew we had to take the positive role. I could not watch them wheel my baby away from me. And so I fled, crying the whole of 5 minutes, whispering prayers the dentist would have a swift and careful hand and that they would be gentle with my child. And I can tell you there is an empty void in your chest when you are walking around with out your heart for a time. My husband and I tried to fill up the time. We needed to eat so we ate. Then we waited. And waited. After an hour my husband started bouncing his leg. With every leg bounce, my stomach churned. I begged him to stop. Two and a half hours later, we saw our  baby girl. She was a trooper. As predicted, by 7 pm she was pretty much normal, and short of a very 6 yr old smile, and some fabulous "Iron Man fillings", she is no worse for the wear. My heart is back in its rightful place. Attached to my sleeve, awaiting the next crisis.
Two thoughts kepts going round about my head during the day.
One: I felt great empathy and sympathy for any parent who has a child who must stay in the hospital for a time. What a heart wrenching and painful time for every one involved. How difficult it is to keep the little ones still and patient, and yet they endure. I am so grateful for my healthy child. I am so grateful that I was gifted with a piece of understanding of what moms go through who must suffer with their little ones. My love has been expanded for those moms.
Two: Even as I wish to place myself in my daughter's shoes to take away the pain, I know I cannot. By the laws of nature, that is impossible. So too, it was impossible for Heavenly Father to take away the bitter cup from His own child when that Perfect One begged  for it to be removed. But He sent His heart, in the form of an angel, to strengthen Him.
By the laws of nature, we cannot take away eachother's pain, but we can in fact live our lives to be the angels of strength, buoying up eachother, even at our weakest, most desperate moments. There was a family this week, that especially went out of their way to buoy us up. Our Savior has experienced all of our pain. It  is through Him that we can be eternally and truly comforted.