Lessons you learn..over and over again.

Have you ever seen a pattern in your life with certain circumstances popping up?
 For example, I used to fall in love with men who just wanted to be friends. I was the perpetual friend. They were all top notched men- with all of my favorite qualities...and they had something else in common...they just wanted to be my friend. Aside from this being one of the MOST IRRITATING  parts of my 20's and a bit of 30, I did not let it tarnish my self esteem. Early on in my"dating"   journey, I was given information which I know to be of a spiritual nature that I should LEARN from all of the men who entered into my life as they all had something to teach me. I took it to heart. The first taught me something I will NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY: The knowledge the Heavenly Father walks with those who suffer, and that our Savior knows like only the sufferer does the exquisite pain they feel. Finally, after years of feeling alone, I knew I never was alone - nor will I ever be again..
The second taught me to marry a man who respected work and had a job that could provide for a family. Oh, and you can't fix broken people by loving them.
The third taught me I was beautiful just the way I was.
The fourth oh, the fourth. Well. He taught me that priesthood power is truly about loving and caring for others. Seeing the needs of others before your own. He literally clothed me when I was cold. Again. Another gift I can never repay.
And the fifth. RIGHT before MR Right. HA. Mr number 5. Five is my lucky number. But we werent lucky. He was the ultimate in just wanted to be friends. But with benefits. He taught me that true love means saying goodbye when you know that your man won't commit to marriage. Yup.
Then I met My dear Hubby. I know we were meant to be. And I keep learning from him.
But back to our lessons that keep repeating themselves. I will own a few of mine. My handicap/disability  gets in my way- then I get fussy, angry, impatient. I am prideful, then I get bummed. I want to have it my way. I want to do it my way. I am independent by golly. But it doesnt always go my way. I am not independent. I need more love,  peace, patience.  HMMMMM.  My psych major friend is gonna have a hay day with this blog... anywhooooo. My disability is my outward handicap and  when I have problems it magnifies EVERYTHING I do wrong in life. It is my greatest teacher. I have learned so much from it. I am so much more because of it. I am empathetic, caring, kind and I love people.  I see ways of doing things that others do not - because I always have to figure out how to do the same others are doing - just with one hand and 1.5 legs . Ya, I got 2 legs, but well the right one is squirrely!  I have to be patient sometimes, cuz well, How else are you gonna braid a 3 yr olds hair with one hand? Yup, I button my pants with one hand too- thats my litmus tester to all my friends- spend one whole day just putting your clothes on and off with one hand...going to the bathroom, etc. I love hearing what people say after they have done that....go ahead. TRY IT. JUST TRY NOT TO DO IT IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS...hahaha
 I have turned as I always do when stressed to my peace- my Heavenly Father's words . The Scriptures. May I just partially repeat 1 Cornithians 13: Charity suffereth long,doth not behave unseemly,is not easily provolked,beareth all things,believeth all things , hopeth all things, endureth all things .
Then I watched a religious show where the wife asked her husband- which of these is you? OPPS.  nice way to put your beloved on the spot. I do NOT RECOMMEND  THAT. I can honestly say all I could think was "WELL  I got some work to do." Lessons. I need patience. I need to be less quick to anger. I need humility. My list feels eternal to me. Like in my heart I always have been one who is passionate-but not always in the good way  and in the prexistence I was too. And Heavenly Father said, "Hun, I have JUST THE TEST FOR YOU! "And finally vs 12 comes as we perfect ourselves: "For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then I shall know even as I am known." The bliss of knowing we can become even as Heavenly Father sees us. And so, with these lessons, I am thus trying to be stalwart and ENDURE TO THE END!